Mental side of weight loss

The first part of my weight loss was pretty quick. I really wasn’t expecting to lose as much as I did. My first freak out was when I realized that I was no longer a size 20, but now a size 18. Lucky for me, for the 5 years I’d been married; my pant size would fluctuate between 20 and 18. Since I can remember I wore a size 18. When I started running more, my pant size dropped down to a 16… I remember the first time I tried a size 16 jeans I flipped out. I wanted to yell up and down the store that I had lost enough weight to wear a size 16 jeans!!!!!! I really can’t remember a time that I wore a size 16 jeans.  I still kind of freak out when I pass by a full length mirror. Even when I look down at my legs I kind of freak out. I can’t believe that my thighs are smaller. To me, I still think I look like I should wear a size 20. I think it is all because I lost most of my weight in my lower body and my back (as I would like to call it, my muffin tops lol). It would be nice to just lose all the weight in my upper body. 

With all the weight lifting I have been doing in the past month, I can see that my stomach is smaller and my arms are starting to get toned. Keeping a photo blog has helped me keep track of how much my body is changing. What I really need to do is buy a cloth measuring tape to keep track with everything. I have always feared what the numbers would be. 

But as the pounds keep shredding off, my confidence is getting higher and higher and I am starting to feel like a different person and I am starting to view weight loss in a different light. I have been reading a lot of articles about how people accidently turn anorexic and bulimic. It’s easy to become obsessed with the scale and the things you put in your body, or don’t put into your body. When I was 13 I had a problem with bingeing and purging. I was always chubby and I got made fun of a lot for being a little fluffy. It’s something I couldn’t control, or at least I thought I couldn’t control. Do you even know how bad a Mexican American diet is? Horrible. Most of the food is consumed with flour tortillas and covered and smothered with cheese. ROFL. Then you have the refried beans that are most of the time made with lard. I never understood that.  Mexican cookies are even made with lard. In the menus at the Mexican restaurants, it’s mostly beef. now you can understand how some Mexican Americans can get so hefty. I grew up on this food…. and I still love it even though I can’t eat it anymore. But I always try to make healthier versions of everything I crave. I do make a mean grilled chicken tacos on corn tortillas. 

As a close to this entry, I am proud to say that my size 16 jeans are starting to get lose on me. I think in the New Year I might be able to fit into a size 14. I’m not going to worry about it, but I will be excited for that day I try on a size 14 and it fits.

 

I also leave you with a few pictures of my bird, Niko. I will post pictures of my other birds later! <3

Eating his favorite snack out my hand

 

climbing the side of his cage

he is the most photogenic bird i have